some people think we are crazy and can not fathom why we would do something like this......
to that I say,
if you had felt what we felt about this and about this little girl....you would do it too! There is just no denying the feelings and the hand of God in this process!
I mean why wouldn't we want more of the love that Bree has brought?
Why wouldn't we want to give this sweet little muffin hope and love and a FAMILY?!
Of course we worry about the unknowns and of course there are concerns, but one thing I found while this decision was weighing heavily on our hearts was this perspective that a father shared on my friends (I can call you that right Bethany?even though we are virtual friends?) adoption blog back when she was going through this journey. It is even titled
"Why Not?"
When Charissa came
to me and asked me, "Can we adopt a little girl
with Down Syndrome?". I didn't say anything. I just thought.
Then she said, "... there is a little girl in Ukraine that needs a family." I didn't say anything except.. mmmm.
I began to go over and over in my mind how MY life would change. How would this affect ME. What if this happened what if that happened. How would this little girl integrate into our family?
So, here is a list of questions I asked, prayed over and meditated on for several days:
- This is a huge commitment
- Will she talk, eat, walk
- What will Word of Faith folks think of me having a child with a disability
- How will my life change with this little girl
- Will my kids accept her
- Will my kids rebel
- Will my kids be safe while I am half way across the world
- Can I afford this
- and many other thoughts
Then I had this thought.. What is this little girl thinking:
- When is my daddy going to come kiss my neck and throw me in the air?
- When is my daddy going to come help me get my eyes fixed?
- When is my daddy going to help me learn how to eat, walk, talk?
- When is my daddy going to take me out of this crib and put me on his shoulders?
- When is my daddy going to hold me close at night before he puts me to bed?
- When is my daddy going to tell me he loves me?
- When is my daddy coming to get me? Why's he taking so long? I'm ready!
God defends the orphan! He will defend me and my family..
What a blessing little Ava has been in my life! I just cannot imagine life without that little girl. Jesus will increase your ability to love every child you bring into your home. He'll work miracles in your heart and in the hearts of a whole lot of other folks too.
Don't be afraid to LOVE! Love heals.
to me and asked me, "Can we adopt a little girl
with Down Syndrome?". I didn't say anything. I just thought.
Then she said, "... there is a little girl in Ukraine that needs a family." I didn't say anything except.. mmmm.
I began to go over and over in my mind how MY life would change. How would this affect ME. What if this happened what if that happened. How would this little girl integrate into our family?
So, here is a list of questions I asked, prayed over and meditated on for several days:
- This is a huge commitment
- Will she talk, eat, walk
- What will Word of Faith folks think of me having a child with a disability
- How will my life change with this little girl
- Will my kids accept her
- Will my kids rebel
- Will my kids be safe while I am half way across the world
- Can I afford this
- and many other thoughts
Then I had this thought.. What is this little girl thinking:
- When is my daddy going to come kiss my neck and throw me in the air?
- When is my daddy going to come help me get my eyes fixed?
- When is my daddy going to help me learn how to eat, walk, talk?
- When is my daddy going to take me out of this crib and put me on his shoulders?
- When is my daddy going to hold me close at night before he puts me to bed?
- When is my daddy going to tell me he loves me?
- When is my daddy coming to get me? Why's he taking so long? I'm ready!
God defends the orphan! He will defend me and my family..
What a blessing little Ava has been in my life! I just cannot imagine life without that little girl. Jesus will increase your ability to love every child you bring into your home. He'll work miracles in your heart and in the hearts of a whole lot of other folks too.
Don't be afraid to LOVE! Love heals.
I am grateful to this father for sharing these feelings because it helped me when we were having these same questions go through our minds. And it helps me now!
13 comments:
All I hear from people that have read my blog post, and linked over to your blog to read your story, is how much they admire you and Kris (and of the course the girls). I'm in the same boat, you guys are such incredible examples of selfless love. I love you guys!
I hope you and Kris know that you are true heroes to so many..it is a beautiful thing you are doing, selfless and wonderful. I just read this somewhere recently, and I thought it was so sweet: don't let the what-if's rob you of the joy of what-is! oxoxPatti
I guess there will always be questions and people who just cannot wrap their heads around the decision you have made. And there are fears, real fears for you as a family. You have taken on an enormous task. But a task of love, a rescue mission, a child is saved because of your beautiful hearts.
And the best part is you don't have to deal with any opinions or fears alone. We are all here to walk with you. You know the saying, It takes a village to raise a child. Well... it takes all of blogland to get that child home first. lean on us.
Praying for you and your journey to rescue little Kareen. God Bless You! So grateful you listened to the Lord's opinion on this one.
I can't imagine asking WHY you are doing this.
I am so happy for you and your family....I checked out some of your blog roll last night and stumbled across two sisters (maybe in laws) and they both had sweet post about K.
Please don't worry what others say you all are going to have a precious little girl who will add so much more love to your family. I think people who dont have a child with Ds can't understand what it is like. PRayers are going up for everything to run smoothly and according to HIS time :)
Thanks everyone! love you all!
This made me cry. So thankful that Heavenly Father is watching out for each one of his children. He knows what Kareen needs and he knows what your family needs. I'm just so grateful that you found eachother. It will all work out! You truly are an example of faith. Love you!
I'm so glad you have decided to bring little Kareen home. I think it will be wonderful for her and little Bree to grow up together. Good luck on your journey.
Of course you can call me your friend, virtual or not! Because I'm pretty sure we are close to IRL (in real life) friends ... LOL!
So. This is common. :)
I remember after we had committed to Nika, I was soo nervous to tell my mom, even though I had baited her for awhile. :) Her reaction, the one that was most important to me, was not one that I had hoped for. Mostly her worries came to surface ... what about Mason, what about Payton, what if this child isn't there when you go for her, what if she has massive health issues like some of these stories you have sent me, what if what if what if.
I felt like I was pleading for my life with her, like trying to make her understand something in 3 minutes that had taken me months to understand. I realized that I hadn't been so sure either in the beginning, when all this adoption stuff was first introduced to me, but I had several months to read blogs, research, pray, etc to get me to the point that I was at when we committed. And I quickly came to realize that every person we told about our adoption was at day one, while we were several months along already.
Does that make sense?
On the other hand, I didn't know why people couldn't just be happy for me. But unless you have walked in the shoes of Down syndrome, you won't ever really get it. I'm pretty sure tons of people still think we are crazy, yet they still embrace us. And I think you will find that too, Kecia. These people that question this adoption ... they need time to process, and more times than not, they will be your biggest cheerleader. And if they are not, then oh well ... buh bye.
I have been thinking about doing a Q&A with my mom about this very topic ... maybe I will ask her. :) I'd also like to hear her answers, about how things changed in her mind.
Much love and even more support!!
I think that what you are doing is amazing! You are giving a beautiful little girl a family!!! It is incredible and truly inspiring! There will always be people that will offer up interesting opinions. People had interesting things to say when Jayne was born too. My husband used to say that people can't really have an opinion until they have been in your shoes. They just don't get what an amazing experience it is to have a child with DS. Good luck with everything! Let us know if we can do anything to help on this journey!
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Some people just don't know when it's appropriate to express them! You KNOW you're doing the right thing, the needed thing. Not everyone will understand. But they don't have to :)
(Even my dad kept telling me to just have another child biologically (even though the first one nearly killed me twice!) when we were in the process of adopting. Once he met Max, he never brought it up again...)
Kecia- My daughter is 3 months old and shortly after she was born I began looking for info. Looking for other families, I wanted inspriation that I would be ok, that we would be ok. I found your blog. I've been reading it ever since. I have fell in love with your family. You are all so beautiful. This adoption brings tears to my eyes. I think it is WONDERFUL and I can't wait to follow this journey! You will inspire so many to do this selfless act. I find it so strange how connected I can feel to another family without even meeting them. Without them even knowing I follow. I had to share. Don't let others opinions get you down. You are wonderful!
Katie
ourdesignergene.blogspot.com
So - I married into a very anti adoption family. It baffles me. It frustrates me. It goes against every fiber of my being to be opposed to such a wonderful thing as giving a home and family to one of our spiritual siblings from Heavenly Father. I think I can understand the concerns, but I cant tolerate the judgement. Stay close to the ones who support and uplift. Forget the criticisms, those hearts might not soften until they see or experience firsthand the kind of love Kareen will bring to your family :)
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